Nothing
by Livelier
Summary: Before the Potters were killed, Sirius went to check on Peter. He didn't find the rat, but he did find something else... Oneshot. R&R. Rated for a tiny bit of language.


_A/N: Under normal circumstances I would say, "enjoy" but I don't think that's likely. So...well, just read it. _

_Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, the Potters and Sirius would never have died and Peter would have been struck by lightning the minute he was born._

**Nothing**

Sirius Black strode briskly through the darkness toward the small house at the end of the lane with his hood up and face down. His fingers were wrapped tightly around his wand. His gray eyes swiveled around him, checking his surroundings nervously.

The house was completely dark and the curtains were drawn. But this did not deter Sirius. He knocked on the door a few times. When nobody answered he let himself in. The door was not locked, which surprised him.

"Oi, Wormy, where are you?" Sirius called in a hushed voice as he walked down the hall, flipping on lights as he went. There was no answer. He stopped. "Pete?" Worry began to seep into his voice.

He walked into the sitting room, and switched on the lamp. Sirius half-expected Peter to pop up from behind the couch, laughing like nothing was wrong. But nothing happened.

A piece of white parchment on the drawing table in the corner caught Sirius's eye. He wandered over to it and picked the paper up. It was a letter addressed to no one in particular, but he recognized the sloppy sprawling writing as Peter's right away. He began to read it quietly to himself.

_I wanted nothing more than to be your friend. You accepted me grudgingly. I was willing to do anything for you. You ignored me and left me behind, pathetic and weak. _He_ offered me a life of fame and glory…I took it. He welcomed me in with open arms like we were life-long friends. Now I have the chance to do things and become someone you never could have dreamed of. _

The parchment fell from Sirius's shaking hands and fluttered to the floor. Frozen and wide-eyed, a horrible realization dawned on him. He fled the house, running across the dark street to the alley where he had stowed his motorbike. Conspicuousness was the least of his worries now. With a heavy, aching heart, he kicked the bike to life, and sped off in the direction of Godric's Hallow.

Along the way, he tried to imagine a life without Lily and James. The resulting pain was resounding. He winced to himself, and instead focused on finding his best friends alive. The bike pushed forward.

When he rounded the last corner, something inside of him stopped. He felt as if his heart had turned to lead, and dropped out from his stomach. His whole world was crumbling, falling down around him...

Sirius stepped off the bike, and soon found that his legs were not sturdy enough to stand on his own. He fell to the ground. After a few moments, he shakily stood and walked stiffly to the door, which stood wide open.

Just inside the door lay James, limp and lifeless at the foot of the stairs. A sob burst from Sirius's chest as he collapsed onto the floor next to his best mate. He wrapped his arms around James's torso and shook his body, hoping in vain that he would wake up.

"Wake up, dammit!" Sirius screamed at the body. His screams quickly turned to sobs as he shook James futilely. "Wake up!"

Blinded by tears, Sirius stood and looked around desperately for something—anything—to take out his anger on. He wanted to make someone feel the pain he was feeling now.

But there was nothing. Nothing but rubble and mess. Nothing that could feel. Nothing that could possibly comfort or entertain. There was nothing.

Sirius spun around and kicked the wall, screaming every swear word Lily had ever broken him of using, angry beyond anything he had ever felt before.

He was angry with James for being the only one who attempted to break down his walls and uncover the person hiding beneath, angry at Lily for her sweet and trustful disposition, angry at Peter for betraying them, and most of all, angry at himself for putting his faith in the wrong person.

Then there was Harry, who was just a baby, who never even had a chance. And now he was gone with his parents, taking the last bit of Sirius's life with him, leaving him cold and alone in this dark and dreary new world—a world he did not wish to be in. Who would want to live in a place that was under a constant blanket of darkness, where the sun would never shine and the stars wouldn't twinkle, and the faces of his family would never again smile back at him?

It was then that he realized Lily was nowhere in sight, nor was Harry. Had they somehow managed to escape? A dangerous surge of hope inflated his chest, and he tried desperately to quash it. Sirius could not afford that hope; it would only crush him in the end.

He climbed the stairs quickly, taking them two at a time. He did not have to search long for the room where he knew he would find them. It was the only door along the hall that had been blasted to pieces.

For the second time that night his heart plummeted.

Lily lay there on the floor next to Harry's crib, her scream of horror still etched upon her face. The expression looked so out of place and alien on her normally tender face. A lone tear slipped beneath his closed eyelids. Sirius looked away from Lily, and straight into bright, bottle green eyes...

For one wild second, his thoughts flashed to Lily—impossible because she was next to him, dead—but then he saw a tuft of jet-black hair. Something akin to happiness swelled within him. He was alive. Harry was alive!

The baby reached his arms out Sirius, clenching his tiny, chubby fists. "Siri!" Harry exclaimed. "Pad!"

'Pad' nearly cried out of relief. He was just about to lift Harry out of the crib when a familiar gruff voice broke the momentary silence.

"Sirius!" Hagrid said, surprised. "What're yeh doin' 'ere?"

Sirius nearly dropped the baby. When he looked back up, he saw that Hagrid's eyes were red and puffy, and his beard was sparkling with teardrops. Sirius wondered idly what he looked like. Probably a hell of a lot worse.

Hagrid reached into the crib and pulled out Harry, tiny in comparison, who, surprisingly, did not cry. His eyes stayed locked on Hagrid's.

"All right, lil' fella," Hagrid grunted as he shifted the kid in his hand. Even at one year old, Harry still fit nicely into Hagrid's palm.

"Where are you taking him?" Sirius demanded, blocking the door. How could he let Harry slip away just when he's lost so much else?

"'Is Aunt and Uncle's. Dumbledore's orders," Hagrid nodded.

As Hagrid took his godson away, Sirius felt another little part of his heart crack and fall. He wondered how much more his heart could possibly endure before it finally gives and shuts down. It couldn't be that much longer. It would be a relief to him.

Moving slowly away from him, Harry stared at Sirius with those green eyes, and pain tore through Sirius's chest. He could not let him go. He just couldn't.

"Hagrid!" Sirius called after him. He turned around to face Sirius with a questioning look. Sirius's words died in his mouth. "You can take my motorbike if you like," he offered instead. He wouldn't be using it anytime soon...perhaps never again.

But there was something that needed to be taken care of first. There was only one other person who needed to die before Sirius did. And it was with a fiery vengeance that Sirius disappeared with a loud _pop_.

Peter needed to die. And he knew exactly where to find him.

_A/N: I probably should have warned you that you might need to keep some tissues handy. My bad. Anyway, please review. That would be awesome because this fic is so...not. Thanks for reading! I hope you don't regret it too much._

_Love,_

_Livelier_


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